Graceful in Defeat

I just found out that my book, RATED F, did not receive any awards in the Utah Center for the Book competition.

Sigh.

The thing to remember here is that I am constantly frustrated with trying to get this project off the ground. I don't have an agent, nor do I have a big publisher. Every bit of promotion that happens with my book I've had to arrange myself. If I revealed how much of my own money I've sunk into promoting it you'd laugh. And that doesn't count the blood, sweat, and literal tears that I've secreted; you'd really think I was a loser if you knew about that.

Well, hell. You can't win 'em all.

But when you're the writer, agent, and publicist on a tiny little publisher, any props would mean so much more. I guess I'm just lucky to be where I am. Thanks to everyone who has supported it so far: my wife (nothing would happen without her), my parents, my brothers Shawn, Daniel, Matthew, my friends (who are always the biggest supporters) Billy, Corey, Heather, Bryan, Darin, DeReese, Nate, Seth and many others.

A special thank you to everyone who has shelled out the $12.95 to buy a copy. You kick ass!

It's just tough trying to break through when you write stuff that would never be sold in Deseret Book.

Todd's iPod songs for 4/15/05

10:20 "A Wish Away" The Wonderstuff (They're playing tomorrow night at Club Sound. Who knew?)
1:20 "Killing in the Name" Rage Against The Machine (Because sometimes Audioslave is just too mellow.)

I type these things humbly, in the name of JC, amen.

FIGHT THE JUNK EMAIL!

Hello y'all.

My friend and fellow blogger Zack Shutt (www.zackshutt.net) recently launched a campaign to reply to all junk email. His first reply was to an email sent from "Mark & Rob" with the subject line of "We're looking to make 100 people rich!"

This morning I checked my personal email account and you can imagine my excitement when I saw that the ever-so-generous "Mark & Rob" had seen fit to spam me with the same junk mail.

Now Mr. Shutt gets full credit for this type of comedy. I'm merely copying his idea, so if you giggle at my response to Mark & Rob, remember that Zack is the original funny guy here.

This is my reply to their stupid junk email:

Dear Mark and Rob,

You guys must totally be psychic or something. How did you know that I had just lost my job at the city dump? (Operating heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol if you must know.)

Anyway, I would absolutely defecate in my trousers to be rich. Wow. Me with money? What would I do? First, I'd ask my lovely wife to quit her job dancing at the strip bar out by the airport. I get jealous when other men give her money. Which is why I'm glad that you, Mark and Rob, found it necessary to seek me out and offer money to me. I'll even dance around in a G-string if you want, but let me warn you that my back is quite hairy. You'd need a lawnmower to tame it.

And hey, maybe with my newfound riches I can buy a lawnmower.

So, will this money be sent to me in a check, or will a box of cash show up at my doorstep? I prefer cash because I have three--wait, four ex-wives looking for alimony. Receiving my riches (again, thank you) in cash form keeps it hush-hush, if you know what I mean.

By the way, you two wouldn't by chance be gay, would you? Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into supporting the whole 'alternative lifestyle' thing. It's just that the last junk email I received from two anonymous males had nothing to do with getting rich, if you catch my drift.

Anyhow, thanks for letting me be among your hundred new rich people. You must be related to Jesus or something, having such generous hearts. I'll make a donation to the poor, just so you know.

I'll be watching for the package of cash.

sincerely,
todd



When Zack replied to these guys, he got a curt response. Let's hope I hear from Mark & Rob. If I get something back, I'll post it immediately...

Todd's iPod songs for Thursday 4/14

10:20 "Blitzkrieg Bop" The Ramones (R.I.P. Joey)
1:20 "The City Sleeps" MC 900 Foot Jesus (Nine-hundred feet? Damn, that's one big Jesus!)

Hotel Rwanda

I watched Hotel Rwanda last night. What a great movie; it was certainly eye-opening to learn of the genocide that occurred in that part of the world. If you want to see the good and the ugly side of human nature, I'd recommend this film. It's out on DVD.

Since I'm not in the process of writing a novel right now, during the time I usually spend writing I find myself doing stupid things like blowing money on Amazon and being mean to junior high school kids on various blogs. I think it's time to move on to my next writing project. (I'm such a dork that I write every single morning--even Christmas and my birthday.)

Todd's iPod songs for Wednesday 4/13
10:20 a.m. "I Predict A Riot" Kaiser Chiefs (This song reminds me of a cross between The Jam and Haircut 100.)

1:20 p.m. "Pepper" Butthole Surfers. (Wait. Can I say "Butthole Surfers" on the radio, or will I be taken to federal prison by the FCC?)

And it's looking like I'm going to go with the pink Vans. Yeah, baby!

I WROTE A NEW BOOK!

As many of you know, I'm an aspiring novelist. For details on books I've written and books I recommend for reading, go to www.junkfiction.com. My newest novel is tentatively titled Breathing the Stain and who knows what will ever happen to it. I just barely finished writing the first draft and I'll need to polish it up a bit. Then I'll show it to a very small number of trusted friends. Hey, maybe it's a best seller! But chances are it will be read by 4 friends and will then sit on my hard drive forever undiscovered.

Todd's iPod songs for Tuesday 4/12/05

10:20 a.m. "Dead Man's Party" Oingo Boingo (Let's face it. Danny Elfman is a musical genius, whether it's Oingo Boingo, or one of his many movie scores. "Don't be afraid of what you can't see...")

1:20 p.m. "Bigmouth Strikes Again" (live version) Morrissey This is from the brand new Morrissey Live at Earls Court CD. You'll find a few classic songs by The Smiths thrown in with his solo stuff on this album. (Kids, Morrissey used to be the singer for The Smiths.)

"And now I know how Joan of Arc felt as the flames rose to her Roman nose and her iPod started to melt!"

I Want Pink Shoes!

I was at the Vans store in Fashion Place Mall recently, and I noticed some sweet new shoes.

They were pink. Seriously, how freakin' bad-ass is that? (These weren't in the girls' section, either.)

As you may have noticed from some of Todd's Pictures, I have a pink shirt or two currently in my wardrobe, and I have a thing for punk-ass shoes. Pink shirts? What the hell? Is it 19-freakin'-85 again? Retro = cool.

Guys, if you're questioning my manliness--or your own--with the pink shirt trend, let me assure you that the ladies love a man in pink. (Alec from Florida, you'll back me up on this, right?)

What do you think? Should I get the pink Vans? Post your comments, please.

Todd's iPod songs for Monday 4/11/05

10:20 a.m. "Girl" Beck (It makes you shake your butt.)
1:20 p.m. "Papercut" Linkin Park (You don't hear this beauty on the radio much any more. See how I fight the power with Todd's iPod? Yeah, I'm a rebel. Uh-huh. Sure.)

Dick's Drive-In, Kamas, Utah

Yesterday afternoon I took a drive to Park City to check out the new booster for X96 on 96.3 FM. Coverage is pretty good, especially in Park City proper. I even drove through a snowstorm to Kamas, which, I'm happy to report, enjoys a decent broadcast of 96.3 FM as well.

Since I wanted some hometown flavor, I had a late lunch at Dick's Drive-In (not affiliated with Dick's Market of Bountiful or Dick's Market of Centerville.) One word describes the meal: Mmmmmm! This eatery is just down the street from South Summit High School Check it out next time you're heading to Mirror Lake.

Remember that we're on in the Park City area at 96.3 FM.

Thanks for everything!