FIGHT THE JUNK EMAIL!
Hello y'all.
My friend and fellow blogger Zack Shutt (www.zackshutt.net) recently launched a campaign to reply to all junk email. His first reply was to an email sent from "Mark & Rob" with the subject line of "We're looking to make 100 people rich!"
This morning I checked my personal email account and you can imagine my excitement when I saw that the ever-so-generous "Mark & Rob" had seen fit to spam me with the same junk mail.
Now Mr. Shutt gets full credit for this type of comedy. I'm merely copying his idea, so if you giggle at my response to Mark & Rob, remember that Zack is the original funny guy here.
This is my reply to their stupid junk email:
Dear Mark and Rob,
You guys must totally be psychic or something. How did you know that I had just lost my job at the city dump? (Operating heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol if you must know.)
Anyway, I would absolutely defecate in my trousers to be rich. Wow. Me with money? What would I do? First, I'd ask my lovely wife to quit her job dancing at the strip bar out by the airport. I get jealous when other men give her money. Which is why I'm glad that you, Mark and Rob, found it necessary to seek me out and offer money to me. I'll even dance around in a G-string if you want, but let me warn you that my back is quite hairy. You'd need a lawnmower to tame it.
And hey, maybe with my newfound riches I can buy a lawnmower.
So, will this money be sent to me in a check, or will a box of cash show up at my doorstep? I prefer cash because I have three--wait, four ex-wives looking for alimony. Receiving my riches (again, thank you) in cash form keeps it hush-hush, if you know what I mean.
By the way, you two wouldn't by chance be gay, would you? Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into supporting the whole 'alternative lifestyle' thing. It's just that the last junk email I received from two anonymous males had nothing to do with getting rich, if you catch my drift.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me be among your hundred new rich people. You must be related to Jesus or something, having such generous hearts. I'll make a donation to the poor, just so you know.
I'll be watching for the package of cash.
sincerely,
todd
When Zack replied to these guys, he got a curt response. Let's hope I hear from Mark & Rob. If I get something back, I'll post it immediately...
Todd's iPod songs for Thursday 4/14
10:20 "Blitzkrieg Bop" The Ramones (R.I.P. Joey)
1:20 "The City Sleeps" MC 900 Foot Jesus (Nine-hundred feet? Damn, that's one big Jesus!)
My friend and fellow blogger Zack Shutt (www.zackshutt.net) recently launched a campaign to reply to all junk email. His first reply was to an email sent from "Mark & Rob" with the subject line of "We're looking to make 100 people rich!"
This morning I checked my personal email account and you can imagine my excitement when I saw that the ever-so-generous "Mark & Rob" had seen fit to spam me with the same junk mail.
Now Mr. Shutt gets full credit for this type of comedy. I'm merely copying his idea, so if you giggle at my response to Mark & Rob, remember that Zack is the original funny guy here.
This is my reply to their stupid junk email:
Dear Mark and Rob,
You guys must totally be psychic or something. How did you know that I had just lost my job at the city dump? (Operating heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol if you must know.)
Anyway, I would absolutely defecate in my trousers to be rich. Wow. Me with money? What would I do? First, I'd ask my lovely wife to quit her job dancing at the strip bar out by the airport. I get jealous when other men give her money. Which is why I'm glad that you, Mark and Rob, found it necessary to seek me out and offer money to me. I'll even dance around in a G-string if you want, but let me warn you that my back is quite hairy. You'd need a lawnmower to tame it.
And hey, maybe with my newfound riches I can buy a lawnmower.
So, will this money be sent to me in a check, or will a box of cash show up at my doorstep? I prefer cash because I have three--wait, four ex-wives looking for alimony. Receiving my riches (again, thank you) in cash form keeps it hush-hush, if you know what I mean.
By the way, you two wouldn't by chance be gay, would you? Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into supporting the whole 'alternative lifestyle' thing. It's just that the last junk email I received from two anonymous males had nothing to do with getting rich, if you catch my drift.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me be among your hundred new rich people. You must be related to Jesus or something, having such generous hearts. I'll make a donation to the poor, just so you know.
I'll be watching for the package of cash.
sincerely,
todd
When Zack replied to these guys, he got a curt response. Let's hope I hear from Mark & Rob. If I get something back, I'll post it immediately...
Todd's iPod songs for Thursday 4/14
10:20 "Blitzkrieg Bop" The Ramones (R.I.P. Joey)
1:20 "The City Sleeps" MC 900 Foot Jesus (Nine-hundred feet? Damn, that's one big Jesus!)
posted by Todd Nuke 'Em at 5:54 AM
6 Comments:
To Quote from "the Big Lebowski":
"Nobody Mess with the Jesus!"
Haven't tried that stunt with Mark & Rob Yet ( I got them, too, even though I specifically marked those assclowns as junk mail), but I think I will do something just as cool with them soon.
I like jesus. I have a dog named spike.
Goodbye.
Zachary Shutt
Mrs.Gill's 2nd grade class
Antelope Island
Actually, Todd, replying to Spam is an invitation to more of it. I am an Information Technology student at Weber State and I'm going into information security. On illegal spam (the stuff that doesn't comply with the CAN-SPAM act and uses perverted spellings of "Viagra" to get around your spam filter), the reason there's an "Unsubscribe" link is to tell the spammer if the address is actually monitored, so if you send a response, you will get more spam. It's the same as what your mother told you about the kids who pick on you at school -- "Just ignore them, they're looking to get a response from you."
It's actually not that hard to stop spam. There are only four things you have to do:
1. Change your E-mail address.
2. Only give out your new E-mail address to family, friends, and colleagues -- don't enter it on any web forms.
3. Create an alias address. Most ISPs allow you several E-mail addresses with your account -- AOL and Comcast allow you seven -- so use this feature to your advantage. Create some alternate E-mail addresses -- I suggest one for business and one for newsletters -- and whenever you sign up for a newsletter, or want to give an E-mail address to someone that you're not sure you trust, give them one of your alternates. If you start getting a lot of spam on one of the addresses, you can change it without having to notify all your friends, family, etc.
4. Finally, READ THE PRIVACY POLICY on any web form that asks for your E-mail (or any other personal information, for that matter). If the site doesn't have a privacy policy, either create a new alias address for that site or don't give them your address, period.
I have kept three different E-mail accounts (one through Weber State, one through my parents' ISP, and one through my .Mac membership) for several months and have not received a single junk mail message.
Dude, thats no fun. We're all happy your a student at whatsitville but we like responding to spam for COMEDY PURPOSES.
...not because we want to get a bachelor's degree in computer science.
Spam likes my invitations, so kiss my ass!
I know you're responding to be funny, and I thought your response to those guys was wicked funny, but it seems like you're getting annoyed by junk mail, and I'm just warning you that you'll get more of it if you respond to them. Besides, they're not actually going to read it anyway (they have no way of reading the hundreds of replies they get each day, they just use a program that notes the addresses that generate responses and sends them more spam) so what's the point if they're not going to read your scathing wit?
So that we can post it publicly and feel cool.... i guess.
It's okay, as long as a few people get a laugh out of it - we're all good.
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